I Hear You

July 1, 2013
This book's premise boils down to the proverb, Don't judge a person until you have walked a mile in his or her boots. This is exactly what negotiator Ebenstein advises. The terms he usesshifting perspective, telling their story, don't take it personallysound on the surface much like Don Miguel Ruiz' Four Agreements (1997). But Ebenstein teaches us much more in practicums: dozens of back-and-forth dialogues showing both stuck and unstuck conflict situations, such as how to address the gaps between different perspectives while continuing to maintain your personal balance, and, perhaps the hardest of all, questioning yourselfand changing yourself when it is seen as necessary. On one hand, it's hard to imagine the kind of psychological help Ebenstein provides; written words don't adequately convey the nuances of conflict and resolution. On the other hand, he gives solid, well-reasoned advice.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2013, American Library Association.)